Yo, yo
Movable Type
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Let's talk Scrotal Thermoregulation
Here's a sample of the kinds of lectures held at my old university: Scrotal/testicular thermoregulation in farm animals About the Lecture: In farm animals, it is essential that the testes be maintained a few degrees below body temperature for...
(January 30, 2006)

Negative Ads
We're getting close to election day here in Canada, and this year, the negative ads are getting especially nasty. Whilst these ads aren't filled with lies, they sure manage to make to voting public uncomfortable. So in the spirit of...
(January 19, 2006)

Lasers!
Here's the thing about those pen lasers you can buy from the store: they're a big disappointment. Well, except to cats, who seem to love them. However, given all the promises that cartoons, tv and movies have made regarding the...
(January 7, 2006)

Rocketpack
It turns out that that Rocketpack, the writing site I edit, is now 6 years old, and so to celebrate I did a bit of a design overhaul. Now it's easier to navigate and easier on the eyes, although tragically,...
(January 5, 2006)

Eyes on the road, Kitty
Eyes on the road, Kitty Originally uploaded by gavs. --> Mr. Meow's short attention span was just one of many reasons he was a poor driver...
(December 13, 2005)

So long, office novelty
Well it would seem the novelty of working in an office is starting to wear off. I thought it would be the tedious, soul crushing monkey-work that finally got me down, but in fact, it's the people. Everyone seems so...
(December 12, 2005)

Clearly an office romance
There's a pretty girl on the floor I work on who has a tongue ring. We rode up in the elevator at the same time this morning and said hello to each other. I think we're dating now....
(December 12, 2005)

Uh oh
Guess who suddenly has access to a digital camera if you said a man that just ate noodles for dinner you'd be correct....
(December 11, 2005)

Office Story #1
I started office temp work for some corporations downtown recently. I haven't been doing it for very long, so some things are new to me. There are two things I've noticed: #1: offices collect some odd characters. #2: No matter...
(December 6, 2005)

A Weird Dream
SCENE 1 Morning. A bedroom. Gavin wakes up and looks around. GAVIN: Hello, world. Lovely day. MONSTER crashes through window. GAVIN (CONT'D): Oh, hell. MONSTER: Roar GAVIN: Not this time! MONSTER: Nice to meet you- GAVIN picks up telephone and...
(September 27, 2005)

George
George looked at the door handle and licked his lips. He knew what was on the other side, and he could barely contain his excitement. His hand quivered as it reached toward the door-- but then, overcome with a wave...
(September 7, 2005)

Penny - Shhh!

(September 5, 2005)

The Brothers Grimm: Review
I went to see The Brothers Grimm lastnight, here's the best way I can think of describing it: about 1/3rd of the way into the film, for no reason at all, a kitten is killed and the bad guy...
(September 1, 2005)

Somewhere, this is somebody's fantasy
Found this hot poster being auctioned on on eBay: But hurry! Time's running out, so bid quickly if you've ever wanted a picture in your home of a woman getting it on with a man-snail....
(August 25, 2005)

Let's talk Quantum Physics
So it turns out that precocious little theory, known as Quantum Physics to it's friends, now dictates that were we to go back in time, we wouldn't be able to change anything if it has already been observed as...
(July 23, 2005)

Join the HOT Squad Crew!
I'm job hunting right now, which I'm sure you can imagine is nothing but a nightmare in these tight economic times. So I was trawling craigslist, which incidentally is the best way to find the worst jobs, when I found...
(July 22, 2005)

Heart
Some say I have the heart of a mountain lion, but I say no, I have the heart of a man. It's an important distinction. But, if one day my manheart were to fail, and I was given the choice...
(July 9, 2005)

I'm a man now
Horay! It's my birthday today, and what special present did I give to myself? If you said "pornography" then you know me all too well, old friend. Talking about pornography, I'm thinking of branching out into 3-Dimensional porn, such as...
(July 8, 2005)

He's the Captain of the Starship
Much to my delight, I stumbled across this page about William Shatner's rare second LP. As you can see from the photo, it's a very classy affair, as you would expect from an album titled "Captain of the Starship." And...
(July 6, 2005)

Lube Job
Scientists have invented a new lube that promises nearly zero friction. Oh ladies, methinks you have no more excuses....
(July 6, 2005)

I'm in debt! (or, I have a hot new car!)
This is my awesome new Toyota Matrix. Well priced, stylish and great gas mileage: I shall love it more tenderly than I have ever loved womanflesh (or to put it another way, if you're going to come round and...
(July 2, 2005)

Happy Canada Day
Here's a shout out to C-Dawg, my homie and native land. Interesting but not-well-know Canadian Fact: The Canadian constitution has a passage that reads "We the people of this great land of Canada, in one voice united under the flag,...
(July 1, 2005)

Finger of God!
Hey, remember that movie Twister? (It also went under the title "The Best Movie of 1996.") Well, my favourite part in it was when the storm chasers are gathered around Aunt Meg's dinner table, heartily chatting about old times, when...
(June 30, 2005)

Physics vs. Woman
This is an interesting little flash simulation. You take a rag doll and throw it around to observe it's physics... which you'll have to trust is more interesting than I just made it sound. Of course, in this case the...
(June 27, 2005)

"Batman Begins" Review
Great movie, up until that one scene where Batman drops what he's doing and goes off to chase Michael Jackson for like 10 minutes. It just took me right out of the film. The night has it's own brand of...
(June 25, 2005)

Lightning storm says goodbye to Goodyear
Hey, remember the Goodyear blimp? Nobody died, so feel no guilt as you enjoy these photos of this downed dirigible....
(June 17, 2005)

You're not sending ME to the COOLER, batman!
So apparently the new Batman movie is supposed to be good. I'll see it on Sunday and review it then. Personally, my favorite batman was of course George Cloony. But you know me, I'm man who likes quality....
(June 16, 2005)

This digital clock made of paper is arousing me
I just wet myself again. It's turning out to be a bad day for that. But I have a better reason for it now, look: A paper digital clock. Seriously, it's all flexable and everything. This rapid pace of...
(June 16, 2005)

Steve's super speech
This is Steve Jobs' speech from this years commencement ceremony at Stanford. I always dig when clever people write clever speeches. It's nice and inspirational. Random Quote: "My third story is about death."...
(June 16, 2005)

Play with me
Holy crap, I just wet myself. Seriously, I'm not kidding. Actual urine. This is 50% due to the creepy movie, and 50% because I have a serious medical conditon....
(June 16, 2005)

And yet he looks so normal
Here's a charming story to perk up the midweek blues... A man carrying a home-made sword and what looked like a blood-stained chainsaw was allowed into the US from Canada, the Associated Press reports... The next day he became...
(June 9, 2005)

So apparently books are bad
Let me tell you, I loves burning me some books. In fact, I have an English degree from university, and the whole time during class when we talked about a book we were studying, I would sit in the back...
(May 31, 2005)

I have a blog
This is my first go at blogging in some time. I used to blog every day, but then I joined the Dramatic Arts department at university and suddenly the time I usually spent on the web moaning about my life...
(May 22, 2005)

Random Quote
I have a quotes file on my computer where I write down all the odd and interesting quotes I hear in a day. I overheard this at a fancy dress party last Halloween: -"hey, hey, guess who I'm dressed as!"...
(May 22, 2005)

Oh, Japan you've got some Coo Coo Crazy toilets
Oh good, because I was begining to think getting attacked by giant dancing chickens and frogs whilst taking a dump only ever happend to me... Linky...
(May 21, 2005)

Paul Martin... Angry...
This is Prime Minister Paul Martin. He runs the country I live in. Here we see him about to attack a village....
(May 20, 2005)

I've become the mature adult I always dreamed of
Today will go down in my personal history as "The Day of Poorly Thought Out Indulgence." I didn't have any work at my job so I came home. Not sure what to do to fill up the remainder of my...
(May 17, 2005)

Potatoes
"I like potatoes," whispered the angry young man as he slowly heaved the sack of carrots above his head, towering over the unconscious farmer before him. "I like potatoes."...
(April 4, 2005)

Computers!

(April 1, 2005)

Where's my email monkey?
I've just spent 3 hours writing emails back to people who've written to me in the past week and, phew, I'm exhausted. I'm not even done yet. That's not to brag that I've got lots of people writing to me...
(January 1, 2005)

Who Will Win? Part 3
New article up at Rocketpack.. "Who Will Win? Part 3"....
(September 2, 2004)

So long, Olympics
So the 2004 summer olympics are over. There have been some winners, and there have been some losers. But clearly the biggest winner of the entire olympic games was.... ...me. And why exactly did it take so long for this...
(August 31, 2004)

Ad-tastic
I signed Rocketpack up for Google's AdSense program, which is a service that puts ads on your site that are targeted to your readership. Ok, so I know ads are a bit of a pain, but I was vainly hoping...
(August 31, 2004)

Quote of the moment
I don't know where it comes from, but I like it. "Imagine how stupid the average person is, now imagine half are dumber than that" Personally, I suspect I fall on the dumber side of the bell curve...
(August 19, 2004)

Olympics? More like Cool-ympics
Oh Canada, why can't you win any medals? Linky...
(August 19, 2004)

Slightly better than televised shot-put
Shh.. I'm watching legitimate sport. In my room. Alone....
(August 17, 2004)

Chubby Girl Melts into Couch and Dies
This story of a morbidly obese woman dying on a couch somewhat troubles me, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is that makes me feel uncomfortable... "After years of staying put, her skin had literally become...
(August 16, 2004)

Inspiration
I like photoshop....
(July 26, 2004)

Elisha Cuthbert: I'm over you
(or, an open letter to Scarlett Johansson)
I can't help but be disappointed by how Elisha Cuthbert, after all this time, is still not my girlfriend. Clearly, I've done all I can to win her affections... watching her on tv, writing her name over and over again...
(May 22, 2004)

Canadian Politics
I propose that Canadian life would be a lot better if we could all ride around town in our very own government-supplied scooters. I'd vote for the party that could promise me that next election. (the Bloc-Québécois, I believe)....
(May 21, 2004)

Elisha Cuthbert Part 2
I never thought my life would come to the point where I'd say this, but after reading the heart filled love letters that are filling up in the comments section of my earlier post regarding Elisha Cuthbert, I feel compelled...
(March 16, 2004)

How to make an independent movie
I was involved in making an independent movie this past summer, which was more or less about a bumbling theatre troupe attempting to put on an erotic adaptation of Macbeth. In other words, the version of Macbeth that we've all...
(January 2, 2004)

I'm a big boy
Thanks to the Google Calculator, I've found out I'm 1.83643019 × 1016 lightyears tall. If that doesn't impress the ladies, then the ladies must be impressed by something completly different. Also, it turns out my 20 gallon fish tank has...
(September 6, 2003)

An open letter to Elisha Cuthbert
Dear Elisha Cuthbert It's been a long time coming, but I think I've found my perfect love interest. You're great as the daughter on the hit TV show "24," as well you are also great as the daughter in...
(September 4, 2003)

Let's all go to the strippers
There's a new article up at Rocketpack, all about the wacky world of strippers. I like these types of back-stage observational articles, because I know the closest I'll ever come to strippers are the adventures I have with them in...
(September 2, 2003)

Out of Context Quote of the Day
"After all my years working with homeless people, I've learnt: if it looks like poo, smells like poo and tastes like poo, chances are, it's poo." Why yes, I live in a classy town....
(August 30, 2003)

New things
After the movie Finding Nemo, many people may want to build a saltwater aquarium. But what dangers might such an aquarium pose to you? Read the new article at Rocketpack: That Wacky Mantis Shrimp....
(August 6, 2003)

Heat wave
It's so hot I feel that any minute now I may suddenly just let go and salsa uncontrollably. And by "salsa" I mean "wet myself"...
(July 23, 2003)

The fish just looked at me
In a move that my financial advisor would no doubt disapprove of, I’ve decided to try my hand at saltwater fish keeping. I’ve been keeping regular fresh water tropical fish tanks for about a year now, but have recently felt...
(July 22, 2003)

You'll pay, kitten!
Story: New York City transit police jail month-old kitten I'm glad somebody is taking care of New York's vagrant kitten problem. Random Quote: The kitten was sound asleep....
(July 18, 2003)

So very hot and sweaty
Why is it so hot? I need to fall asleep so I can rest for one of my trademark busy days tomorrow, but the heat is too much. There are actual, visible heat waves coming from my skin, which can’t...
(July 17, 2003)

Witty comeback
Feel free to use this phrase at your convenience "I'm riding the ass-kicking train, and it's destination? Your ass." Ouch indeed....
(July 8, 2003)

Birth o' mania
It's my birthday tomorrow. Do you know what this means? That's right: presents, cake, and balloons. Hooray! I'm especially excited about the prospect of balloons. I'm turning 24. Here are my goals for the coming year: -Write an award winning...
(July 7, 2003)

Addicting
I think I've found a new drug. Something to spend all my money and free time on. It's a harsh mistriss named: a hobby. I spend my waking hours thinking about it, and my work hours earning money to satisfy...
(June 30, 2003)

Random Quote
"I am rather shocked by the way my scrotum has swollen" Who hasn't said this at one point or another in their lives?...
(March 6, 2003)

Quote to live by
Picard may be a better captain, but Kirk could pick some pretty big rocks up over his head...
(March 6, 2003)

Love
I'm working on a plan that will enable me to fall in love and live happily ever after. The plan in it's early stages, but here's what I've got so far: Step 1: ????? Step 2: Happyness I can't wait...
(March 4, 2003)

So true
How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?...
(March 4, 2003)

Dating
I have problems asking girls out on dates. I'm generally incapable of it. When I do finally get my shit together enough to ask someone out, it usually turns into a rather embarrasing affair involving frothy dipthongs and nervous twitching....
(March 4, 2003)

Free time
I have too much free time on my hands suddenly. I've taken to wearing my bathrobe during the day and yelling at the squirrels in my garden. This fills the time....
(March 4, 2003)

Yes I'm wearing puffy director's pants
I'm taking a directing class as my very last university course ever. Tomorrow we get do our first round of casting for our first performance. My casting plan is a two step plan: Step 1: Cast my friends Step 2:...
(January 21, 2003)

A little something for the ladies
The Five Secrets to a Great Relationship 1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, occasionally cooks and cleans and who has a job. 2. It is important to find a man who makes you...
(November 16, 2002)

Fucking Butterfly
I'm making a butterfly as a prop for a class, and I'm finished except for a hook that has to go in the exact centre of the body so it can be strung up on stage and hang level....
(November 11, 2002)

Free Fish
I went to get some mini shrimp for my fish tank the other day. They accidently put a baby fish in the bag too, so I got it for free. I can't put it in the big tank, because it's...
(November 4, 2002)

Acting
Today was the opening night for one of the shows I'm in right now. Apparently for everyone else, the play went awful. But for me it was my first night without forgetting my lines, and therefor was my best night...
(November 1, 2002)

Fish pope
Tonight for halloween I dressed up as the fish pope. I had green gills and fins, etc, plus a pope hat. Best. Costume. Ever....
(November 1, 2002)

Happy Hallo-"SCREAM"!
My family used to have a pressure sensitive doormat that, when unwary trick-or-treaters stepped on it, would emit the phrase "Happy halllloo-SCREAM! HAHAHA!" at an incredible volume. It terrified the kids, but my dad loved it, so we kept pulling...
(November 1, 2002)

Best job in the world
I like acting because when you're doing non-acting activities, such as waiting in line to get into a club, cute girls recognize you. That is all....
(November 1, 2002)

Thesaurus fun
I recently found this site, Lexical FreeNet, which lets you “search for relationships between words, concepts, and people.” So naturally, I did a search for my own name, Gavin, hoping to see what other words my name is linked to....
(October 11, 2002)

A chilling look at things to come
Today I went in to have my makeup done for the show I’m in. I needed it done this early for some photos that they took of me. I’ve never had this much makeup put on me before, as this...
(September 18, 2002)

What the...
Mom, get a wiggle on! So dirty....
(September 10, 2002)

Woot!
I just found out I got cast in a new play. I'm going to be playing Mr DePinna in "You can't take it with you," a character who, amoungst other things, spends a portion of stage time wearing a scantily...
(September 7, 2002)

So long, employment
Today is my last day of work for the summer. My job is cleaning at a fancy restaurant in the early mornings when everyone has gone home. It seemed like a good job at first, since the pay was high...
(September 1, 2002)

Smells like new
This is my new blog. It's still shiney and new. I suspect, like most new things, I shall break it soon....
(August 26, 2002)

The best day of my life was...
One time I ordered a couple of burgers from mcdonalds, and when I got my order and drove off, I realized they actually gave me twenty piece chicken nuggets and super-sized fries. And that was the best day of my...
(August 26, 2002)

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