I was born 6 months before the end of the 7th decade of the twentieth century and am currently still not dead.

This is what I look like when I'm feeling happy (or excited, or angry, or sleepy, or hungry, or drunk, or...) 

I'm going to the University of Lethbridge (motto: "University: if not you, then who?") where I am trying to earn an English degree. Failing that, I am also majoring in Pottery, where I hope to earn my Pottery degree. 

Last year I realized that there are exactly 53 things that define who I am as an individual. Possibly, there may be more, however I got distracted around number 53 and never got around to adding additional items. Should you feel the need, there is also an FAQ. 

The part of the site that's updated more than the rest, my new pride and joy, is the blog. Basically it's the weblog of my dreams, in a nice easy to eat format. My other new toy is rocketpack.org. Don't ask me what it is, I have no idea. Also, you can email me here.

A brief history of time

Part 1: Birth and the 80s

I was born in London, England July 8th, 1979 at 8.32pm. Since I now live in Canada, the time difference means that I was born at 1.32pm local time.

A lot of stuff happened between birth and the time I turned 10. However, I cannot seem to remember much of it. Yup.. them eighties were a blast.

Just before I was 10, the Euro Tunnel had begun to make a some threatening gestures in the direction of my family's house (14 Woodley Drive). This caused a commotion in the area since we'd heard plenty about the other towns that had been flattened to make way for the Channel Tunnel. The plan was quietly dropped. My parents however, had decided it was time to move on, and by the time I was 12 we had emigrated from England to Canada.

Part 2: The Canadian Agenda

I was completely unadapted to life in such things as 'Junior High Schools'. The fact that I had gone to a strict all-boys school in England had left me without the skills to interact with such things as "girls". Luckily, it turned out that hardly anyone had the skills to interact with girls. My teenage years years were filled with short and confusing relationships with Canadian women, (which stands in stark contrast to my 20s, which are filled with long and confusing relationships with Canadian women.)

I've been told (daily for the past 9 years) that I still have an English accent. Once or twice, after telling people that I moved here from England, people have asked me if I had to learn English before I arrived.  

Part 3: Sex University

I started university in '98. I was an dual English/Computer Science major up until my second year. However, after repeatedly failing a required Math class, it became apparent that a future in programming probably wasn't in my midst. Now I do more artsy classes.

The most responsibility I've had in my life was during a theatrical production of As You Like It, where I was the Head of Props. It is the only time I've ever been the head of anything. I spent a lot of the first half of the shows running backwards and forwards handing/attaching props to the actors, whilst a majority of the second half of the show was spent playing asshole (a card game) in the green room. I also had to buy a pair of black shoes as part of my 'stage blacks' -- all black clothes to give the impression that scenery was moving on the stage by magic. Anyway, since I didn't have any black shoes, I brought a $10 pair from wal*mart. They didn't have any air holes; it was like tying plastic bags around my feet every night. And they also weren't completely black, so I spent all afternoon drawing out the white parts with a black marker. But it was worth it... for the sake of the performing arts.

I went to Victoria in the Summer of 1999, which was my first indication that Canada may be larger than Southern Alberta. I one day plan to go on a cross-Canada tour. First I will buy my dream car (a 1971 BMW 2002), and take a suitcase, a backpack, a bank card (maybe my own) and travel the length of this funky nation.

Part 4: Death

In June, 2000 I died due to an escaped stampeding hippo from the local zoo which ate me. But then, thanks to a mix up in heaven, I came back to life with super powers to fight crime. (or wait, was that just a movie I saw?)

There are many things hidden on this site. Find them all and you win a prize*

*All lies

My frequently asked questions