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Take that, foo
I was vacumm cleaing today when I saw a spider. I was going to ignore it, but it suddenly made a lightning-fast jump toward my feet. I quickly realized nothing that creepy and that could move that fast would have my best interests as heart, so I sucked it up. Hah! Gavin: 1, Spiders: 0.
[Posted by gavin on Saturday, June 1, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Alien Satire
Go read Alien Satire by Travis Wilhelm and Jeff Templeton. It's a poem but reads more like a song. It's by two guys who were drunk when they wrote it. Good times.
[Posted by gavin on Saturday, June 1, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Plug plug plug
Alright. Here's my plug for Rocketpack. I redesigned it using all my web design talents, which, usually rather limited, turned out something not too shabby this time around. Tragically, the new design loses old guy with rocketpack. But I'm sure he'll turn up again, somewhere, somehow.

Also, last week Fark, a site I really like, linked to Raymi's drinking article on Rocketpack. That was a nice surprise and since I read Fark every day, it was a bit startling to see this site listed on there. Very cool.

In other related news: there`s a new story up at rocketpack. It`s about spiders (which I`m terrified of). Read it here.

[Posted by gavin on Friday, May 31, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

The pain, children, the pain

Two weeks ago I had my 4 wisdom teeth removed and an unnervingly large hole in my jaw repaired. Before I went in for the operation, I talked to a lot of people who had had their own wisdom teeth out, and everyone said it wasn’t so bad. Although, my operation was slightly different because it was considered “complex” due to the hole in the jaw that needed to be filled, I figured it probably wouldn’t be too painful.

But, I was wrong.

I've spent the last two weeks wavering between searing white hot mouth pain and giggly pain reliever highs. Actually, the pain reliever highs weren’t too bad, but they only last for a few hours at a time, and apparently they cause liver damage. Brilliant.

At least they’re out now, and I never have to go through the procedure again. And as long as I never have to have any kind of medical work done on me again for the rest of my life, I’m sure I’ll be just fine.

Just fine.

[Posted by gavin on Tuesday, May 21, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

The colours children, the colours
Ok, maybe this is just the nerd in me talking, but I think this really is amazing: These fancy graphic programs were written using only 256 bytes of code. By comparison, this one single post on pixilated, which doesn't have any fancy graphical swirly effects, is 309 bytes.
[Posted by gavin on Tuesday, April 30, 2002 | Rumours | 2 comments]

So long, teeth
I'm off to the dentist tomorrow to negotiate getting my wisdom teeth taken out. I'm not sure how much it's going to cost yet, because when I asked him over the phone, all I heard were the words "ka-ching! ka-ching!" over and over, followed by a wheezy giggling. But I'm on a dental insurance plan, so I'm not too worried. Except about the pain.. I'm very worried about the pain.

He did say there was a small chance that there may be a "tingling" in my lower jaw for about a month after the procedure, which of course is just doctor talk for "there is a pretty good chance your jaw will fall off"


[Posted by gavin on Thursday, April 25, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Finally: money I'm not embarrased to use
Some countries put pictures of their kings, queens or former presidents on their money, but not the Republic of Liberia. Liberians have head shots of Captain Kirk and Picard on their $1 coins. Finally, the secret nation of nerds has been uncovered. (Thanks to "inne ten have" for emailing this to me).
[Posted by gavin on Sunday, April 21, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Oh, I have a blog
Whoa, where the hell did I go? There's been a whole lotta nothing going on with me and blogging for the past coupla months. Well, I'm back.

I guess I could blame my absence on being very busy in the real world with work and rehersals and school and things like that. But the simple truth is: I was asleep.

One day, a few months ago, I curled up in to a big pile of warm laundry and fell into a deep slumber.

And then, thanks to the warm rays of spring sunlight, I awoke from my winter nap to the sound of snow melting and baby chicks chirping, and reentered the world of the living, looking for berries and fresh fish to replenish my weakened body.

I'm back. I'm blogging. And I'm filled with fish.

[Posted by gavin on Sunday, April 21, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Shh.. the accent is fake
I know, I know, I haven't posted for a while... but I've been busy. I was just in Macbeth (which went very well), and the day after we finished it's run I got called up to be in the next play. And being in plays is good, because you get to party a lot, whilst simultaneously getting lots of ego-stroking attention from people you barely know.

In Macbeth I played a messenger. My job was, at various points, to run up and give Macbeth bad news. Then he'd get enraged and throw me across stage. Even though it was a small part, a fair number of people I don't know have recognized me and said they liked the job I did. Except for one old lady, who (so I hear from one of the ushers), didn't like the fact that I was the only person in the cast to use a fake English accent.

Trouble is, that's my real accent. Everyone else on the cast was just fine using their regular Canadian accent, so it hadn't occurred to me that my own accent would stick out.

When I heard about what she said, I felt a little bad, like she was criticizing my acting or something. Except the accent has nothing to do with my acting, it's just there. It's like someone criticizing your makeup when you're not wearing any.

For this new play I'm in, I'm playing a priest who carries a gun and by the end of the show takes part in a ritualistic killing. Accents ought to be the last thing old ladies are concerned about after seeing this one.

[Posted by gavin on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 | Rumours | 1 Comment]

How I almost died a comical death
I was driving home tonight from a late rehearsal. It was freezing cold, dark and snowy, so I was driving extra carefully. Then, while I was going 90kph over a bridge, I noticed the windshield was dusty, so rather cleverly I turned on the windshield washers. But it was so cold, as soon as the water hit the glass it froze and fogged up the inside of the window. So suddenly I couldn't see anything.

After a few seconds of maniacal screaming and swerving, I realized I could kinda make out the red lights of the car in front, so I followed that car until it got into the city and could park and wait for it to de-fog again.

I was eating an Oh Henry bar at the time. I blame Oh Henry.

[Posted by gavin on Wednesday, January 30, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Drunkeness and cows
Two new articles have been posted up at Rocketpack. One's a poem about cows by Alex. Not to take any credit away from the poet, but I drew that picture of the cow; although it took me four and a half hours.

The other article is by Raymi. It's her treatise on being a drunken asshole. I think this dissertation will go down in history along with Aristotle’s “Poetics” and Darwin’s “Origin of the Species.”

[Posted by gavin on Wednesday, January 30, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Snack attack almost kills Bush
This weekend a hungry President Bush choked on a pretzel while watching a football game, where he quickly proceeded to fall off the sofa and faint. He was then apparently almost eaten by his dogs. Read more at CNN

Random Quote: Bush said he believes he lost consciousness for only a few seconds at about 5:35 p.m., because when he opened his eyes, he said, his dogs were in the same location as his last memory from being seated on the couch.

[Posted by gavin on Tuesday, January 15, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Snowman gets gunhappy
It looks like snowmen have finally had enough of the "carrot and coal used as genitals" joke that so delighted us as kids. Now they're now taking up arms against us.
[Posted by gavin on Saturday, January 12, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Eye candy
Four years ago today was my first day at university. I couldn't sleep the night before because I was so nervous. Tomorrow will be the first day of my final year..

..and I can't get to sleep because this game keeps tempting me to play it. It's like the original Kickups game, except with a soccer ball. (I think the soccer ball is what makes it addictive).

In other news, I'm going to be in a play... Macbeth. We had the first rehearsal earlier tonight. I'm not sure what my role is yet and I may be playing multiple parts, so I've categorized myself as "misc," or if it turns out I don't have any lines: "stage eye-candy."

Mmm.. stage eye-candy... finally something I can put on my business cards.

[Posted by gavin on Sunday, January 6, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

This can't be good
Whatever happens, if you don't want you hard drive hacked don't click this link. Seriously. Don't do it. I'm telling you, don- oh fuckit, just click it already.
[Posted by gavin on Wednesday, January 2, 2002 | Rumours | Comments]

Christianity has it's perks

Naked Santa

Have you been good this year? You better hope so, lest Santa gets pissed off and leaves something depressing in your stocking, like a lump of coal, or a stool sample. But then again, what are the chances that he'd notice if you'd been bad, really? Two billion children in the world… plus you, so unless you've killed someone, he probably ain't gonna know if you’ve been naughty.

Unless he's all-powerful and all-knowing, like God. Which then raises some wacky theological dilemmas.

Hoho, Merry Christmas!

[Posted by gavin on Monday, December 24, 2001 | Rumours | Comments]

So long, money

I just did all my Christmas shopping earlier today. I went with a friend, and we decided the best way we could both get our shopping done is if we took turns in buying our gifts. This was a bad judgment call on her behalf since, while she took about 10 minutes to find each of her presents, I took a solid 40 minutes or so for each of mine. We started at midday and finished at around 9pm.

And the thing is, I even planned out what I was going to get everyone for their presents. Yet when it came down to it, I ended up getting them all completely different things.

My friend was very patient with me. I’d spend half an hour waffling over to buy my brother either the new N*Sync CD or a velvet Jesus (both of which I assume he probably wants), and then, as soon as we went shopping for something she needed, I would get all fidgety and bored after 3 minutes.

I also got around to using my credit card finally. Ever since I signed up for it, it’s been sitting in my wallet just along for the ride, waiting for it’s opportunity to help me build a healthy credit rating (or to put me into a spiraling, uncontrollable debt. Whatever.)

I felt pretty cool knowing I don’t have to pay for Christmas with actual, real money.

[Posted by gavin on Thursday, December 20, 2001 | Rumours | 2 comments]

Hooray for presents! Maybe you'll be lucky and get a toy like this kid's.
[Posted by gavin on Monday, December 17, 2001 | Rumours | Comments]

Drag Queen to run Canada
Once, I was staying at a hotel the same time as a drag queen convention was being held there. I don't remember too much about it, except all the drag queens seemed very tall, and tended to be drunk a lot.

Which brings us to.. a famous Toronto drag queen is running to be the leader of the Canadian Aliance party political party. This is nothing to unusual, except for the fact that the Canadian Aliance is usually made up of extreemly conservative non-drag queens.

And before you yell "bah, she'll never win!" (why are you yelling?), it turns out she placed 3rd out of 25 when she ran for mayor of Toronto.

Random Quote: "there are a lot of sexy MPs (members of parliament) I'd like to unite right now.''

[Posted by gavin on Monday, December 17, 2001 | Rumours | Comments]

Download the internet
Hah, this is cute.
[Posted by gavin on Monday, December 17, 2001 | Rumours | Comments]

We've switched our weblog software over from Blogger to Greymatter. This is a good thing because:
  • Blogger's been really flaky for us recently, and it was becoming a pain to post anything. (Although we still hold a place in our hearts for blogger since they did make us as a blog of note and put us on the map.. well, a little map).

  • Now there's a searchable archive. We also moved the old Blogger generated archives (March 2000 to November 2001) to the new system, except those archives aren't searchable (but all the new stuff is).

  • Commenting on individual posts is possible by clicking on the 2 comments link bellow. The Dirty Rumors message board still works.

  • We be looking pretty now. The old NY skyline layout was jarringly outdated all of a sudden, and the more recent rocketship-just-floating-on-the-page layout was a bit boring. Now, thanks to the moon, we look good.

[Posted by gavin on Monday, December 17, 2001 | Rumours | 2 comments]

The Deadliest Pickle
A few days ago I did a performance project with 5 other people that involved each of us eating pickles at various points in the play.

There were two pickle jars. One of the jars was fresh, which was the one we were going to be eating our pickles from. And the other jar was pure set decoration, and had been sitting in a warm corner of the theatre for a several weeks.

I carefully measured out the pickles, so there was exactly 1 pickles for each performer, no more, no less.

However, for many of the pickle eating scenes, I was backstage, unable to see what was going on.

After the show I noticed there was still one pickle left in the jar. I know we'd all eaten a pickle, so why was there one left over?

Somebody ate one of the old, stale, mouldy pickles.

I don’t know who it was, but I just hope to God it wasn’t me.

[Posted by gavin on Sunday, December 16, 2001 | Rumours | 3 comments]

Fiery Radiation Fun

Now, I've been busy at school with exams and performances and whatnot, and I take school stuff very seriously. So, it takes something amazingly fantastic to distract me from my academic studies. And this is it. This is a page with detailed information about what happens when you put different things in the microwave. I've already tried the CD thing (who hasn't), but I never knew a smouldering toothpick would create fireballs, or that split grapes would create plasma-arcs, or that Christmas ornaments would turn into glowing balls of pure radioactive excitement!

So if you're engrossed in final exams, or find yourself extra busy at work this time of year, take another look at your microwave and all the objects your can put in there. Entertainment awaits!

[Posted by gavin on Sunday, December 16, 2001 | Rumours | ]

Ginger wants to be ridden
Remember last year when everyone was wondering what IT (aka, Ginger) was? But we never found out? Well, it turns out, it's actually a magic scooter that can read your mind and move you where ever you want to go. Fantastic! Read all about it here.
[Posted by gavin on Sunday, December 16, 2001 | Rumours | ]

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