My burning eyes
If you're in the mood for an internet game that will dry up your eyeballs into little prunes inside their sockets, play stare down Sally
[posted by gavin on Sunday, April 29, 2001 | link this | talk]

Almost naked survivor
Hmm. Let's look at Kimmi's kinda naked body. They don't show it, but right after these photos were taken she unhinged her jaw and swallowed a pumpkin.
[posted by gavin on Friday, April 27, 2001 | link this | talk]

Dirty, dirty sex
Oh boy oh boy oh boy.. am I ever gonna need the services of the PornSpeak generator tonight. (Nah, I probably won't.. unless you count of the sobbing conversations I have with a photo of my ex-girlfriend).
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 | link this | talk]

Nixon sez hi
Nixon is up to his old mischief once again. On Friday you can go down to the National Archives in College Park, Maryland and record a copy of your favourite Nixon tape classics, such as the time he accidentally caught his tie in his desk drawer for 3 hours, or the time he was laughing so hard at Premier Khrushchev’s jokes he almost wet himself.
Oh, the memories.
[posted by gavin on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 | link this | talk]

Cor, look at that moter!
Once again.. a car no North American will ever drive.
[posted by gavin on Monday, April 23, 2001 | link this | talk]

Did that loo just look at me?
For years scientists have asked themselves if they could do it, but not if the should do it. But they did.. they created a toilet so advanced it has turned on its human masters.
[posted by gavin on Friday, April 20, 2001 | link this | talk]

Pie throwing
A friend of mine from New York (well, don't get too excited, she's in Brooklyn) is having a pie throwing party.

Yes, Wilkie is in the trunk of my car...
but that is only because he sleeps there.
[posted by gavin on Thursday, April 19, 2001 | link this | talk]

I Am Concerned
Let me just say that I've known Gavin for many, many years, and when he starts talking about dewy-eyed memories from his childhood, it probably means something is wrong. My second clue? He's locked me in the trunk of his car.
[posted by wilkie on Thursday, April 19, 2001 | link this | talk]

Scalextric
When I was little I had a big slot car track (or scalextric, if you're from England) which took up the whole floor of my family's living room. I also had a Lego monorail kit, which was interweaved with the scalextric track. It was a thing of beauty. It would be set up at Christmas, when we got new track and slot cars as presents, which we would play non-stop until the weather got better and we'd go play outside. So then at some point in the summer it would be taken down, only to reappear next Christmas with yet more track and cars.

I've recently been thinking about this because of a slot car game I found on the web. It's like real scalextric I used to play when I was a kid. You get to build your own track, and then race your car against... a parrot. Alright, perhaps the parrot thing is a little different than my childhood, but the idea is pretty much the same.
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, April 18, 2001 | link this | talk]

Kinder Surprise
We brought cheep post-easter Kinder Surprise eggs from Walmart today. I just tried one for the first time earlier tonight and I was amazed by how thin the chocolate was. But on the plus side I got a little plastic toy train out of it, which you just know is going in the microwave at some point later tonight. I'll try and remember to take photos for ya'll.
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, April 18, 2001 | link this | talk]

I am the weakest link, goodbye

Let me point out your flaws

Lookit, Part 3
Before we all start getting sappy and sympathetic for Gavin and his case of Zemmiphobia, I should probably point out that his is hardly a unique condition. After all, don't we all fear the great mole rat?
[posted by wilkie on Tuesday, April 17, 2001 | link this | talk]

Biker Barbie

Lookit, Part 2
I'd just like to add that I too have a phobia, that is, Zemmiphobia
[posted by gavin on Monday, April 16, 2001 | link this | talk]

Lookit
There are two things that everyone knows about me:
1) My boyish, Tom Hank-esque good looks.
2) My unlikey cases of both Dutchphobia and Epistemophobia. What does that mean, you ask? Find out here.
[posted by wilkie on Monday, April 16, 2001 | link this | talk]

Make your own comic strip
Want to be the next Gary Larson? Try the comic strip creator. Have a look at my work of comedic genius.
[posted by gavin on Monday, April 16, 2001 | link this | talk]

Reason I hate telephones #36: answering machines

Now I’m thinking, wait a second, did that record my message or what? So I call back, wait for the beep, and manage to get out “Hey, this is Gavin,” when the battery in my cordless phone dies.

So I call again and it works, but now I feel weird because I’m leaving all these messages on her machine.

So what I’m saying here is, don’t friggin use answering machines people. They are always busted. If you have to use something, use voicemail. At least with voicemail all the software and machinery is kept at the phone offices, which mean you or I (mostly I) can’t mess anything up.
[posted by gavin on Monday, April 16, 2001 | link this | talk]

Ow, my synapse
Welcome to internet hell.

In other news, I added a "discuss" feature to each post. So now we can say "gafaw" to one another after each post, and laugh at Wilkie (the new poster that just joined Pixilated. He smells like catfood).

So hit the "Discuss" link, and write, write, and write some more.
[posted by gavin on Sunday, April 15, 2001 | link this | talk]

Be a human dynamo
The Germans have figured out a way to make your clothing solar powered, so instead of having to buy batteries for your discman or Palm computer, you just put on your solar-panel Lederhosen.
[posted by gavin on Saturday, April 14, 2001 | link this | talk]

So long, pot
The BBC is reporting: "Scientists have found a way to stop cannabis users feeling the key mood changes associated with the drug."
Damn those meddling scientists!
[posted by gavin on Friday, April 13, 2001 | link this | talk]

To the centre of the Earth, chums!
So if you were to build a big drill and tunnel through to the other side of the planet, where would you end up? The answer is, of course, you would have been killed long before you got there, due to Earths hot, gooey, molten core. But, if you were to somehow able to build a fantastic "heat resistant" machine, and make it all the way through, where would you end up? Find the answer to that question here.
[posted by gavin on Friday, April 13, 2001 | link this | talk]

My little piano friend
Good Morning. I'm new.
Gavin asked me to post something once in a while, mostly so he can devote more time to his real passion, collecting and talking about tiny pianos. Don't doubt his enthusiam. Often times he just looks at them, smiling, reminiscing about days gone by when life was simpler and people were much, much smaller. If you'd like to read more about this growing interest, go here, and be sure to read the History. Arf.
Random Quote: "...she got so hooked on wanting to find every piano possible, that she has been awakened and visibly terrified by a nightmare in which she was being chased by a piano."
[posted by wilkie on Thursday, April 12, 2001 | link this | talk]

School's out for the summer

[posted by gavin on Thursday, April 12, 2001 | link this | talk]

The paperclip is pissed
That annoying and creepy paperclip from Microsoft Office is being removed from the next version. Now Microsoft's new advertising campain involves making fun of how no one actually liked the thing in the first place. It's almost like microsoft has a sense of humour about this, or something.
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, April 11, 2001 | link this | talk]

Important News!
Item! I have no idea what this news story is about!
[posted by gavin on Tuesday, April 10, 2001 | link this | talk]

Education
The internet is a tool for learning, so why not learn All About My Vagina. I am very intimidated by this webpage.
Random Quote: My vagina is between my legs. That's all I have to say.
[posted by gavin on Tuesday, April 10, 2001 | link this | talk]

Mentos: the widowmaker The Freshmaker

I was on the bus today going to the university, when a couple of school kids got on and sat in the chair behind me. They were talking about a Foo Fighters video from a few years back that one of them had just seen, which made fun of Metos (the mint candy).

The old Mentos ads were cheesy European adverts, where some young yuppie would get him or herself into trouble, eat a Mentos, and suddenly everything would be ok.

Except, the two kids behind me in the bus didn't realize that. They were to young to have seen the original commercials, and thought the Foo Fighters video was just being cheesy for the fun of it. That was the first time it occurred to me.. there's a whole group of people growing up in the world who don't share the same cultural references as the people I grew up with.

The Mentos commercials were a defining point for my generation. It was from these awful advertisements, that as a young and innocent group of people, we collectively realized, that we had been giving the Europeans way too much credit.
[posted by gavin on Monday, April 09, 2001 | link this | talk]

Well here's a witty idea
Maybe you remember the old days, when to meet people using classified ads involved browsing the ads and then trying to write clever messages to anyone you liked the look of. Well, some entrepreneurial genius has figured out a better way to do this: auction off the classified ads. No more writing simple messages to people like primitive animals, now you get to bid on a prospective love interest. Wow! It's just like going to a real life auction to buy a used car or old furniture! Except you're bidding on people! Like the people were old furniture! Fantastic!
[posted by gavin on Monday, April 09, 2001 | link this | talk]

go, go, go!

[posted by gavin on Sunday, April 08, 2001 | link this | talk]

The Find Jish game
a funny thing happened when we downloaded our SXSW photos. Jish was in a lot of them. Almost all of them. Soon, we began looking for him in every picture. Over and over again, there he was, plain as the Virgin Mary in a Mexican tortilla. Now it's your turn — Where's Jish?

I like Jish. Back in the day, when we were on his Webloggers webring (this was years ago) and had problems with it (which we'd grumble about on our blog) he'd actually write to us personally and tell us what was going on.. even though there was something like 500 people on the ring at that time. That's dedication.
[posted by gavin on Sunday, April 08, 2001 | link this | talk]

Kid takes gun to school to stun self
An 8th grader thought it would be a lark to take a stun gun to school and see what it felt like to shock himself. He and his friends, who were also eager to get stunned, enjoyed a fun-filled morning of electric stun-gun shocks, followed by an afternoon of stomach wounds, muscular side effects and potential heart arrhythmia.

In other news, a professor at my university recently released a surprisingly popular book that claims the kids of today aren't as dumb as everyone thinks, and will actually turn out just fine. Well that's good, because we were almost getting worried.
[posted by gavin on Saturday, April 07, 2001 | link this | talk]

Yet another reality-based game show
This time, the contestants are dropped off in the middle of nowhere and left to make it back to the Statue of Liberty before anyone else.
[posted by gavin on Saturday, April 07, 2001 | link this | talk]

Monkey gets head transplant
Those wacky scientists are at it again! One lucky monkey had his head removed and sown onto different body. Of course, we would have been more impressed had the monkey head been put onto the body of a different animal, like an alligator or human. (But then that would have just been a perversion of science.)
[posted by gavin on Friday, April 06, 2001 | link this | talk]

Space Photo
Here's another amazing photo from the Hubble telescope.. except.. is it just me, or does this one look a little gross, like a nasty skin condition, or something?
[posted by gavin on Friday, April 06, 2001 | link this | talk]

Greatest invention ever
Just when I thought I had everything I could ever want in life, they go and invent the weather forcasting toaster. You put toast in the toaster like normal, except whereas most other old fashioned toasters would simply heat your bread, this toaster connects to the internet, checks the weather for you, and using a stencil, burns a symbol of what the weather will be like for the day ahead into your breakfast. For instance, if it's going to be cloudy today, you get a little cloud on your toast. However, this is just the tip of the iceberg. In the future we could get all kinds of things burn into your bread, such as your morning email.
[posted by gavin on Friday, April 06, 2001 | link this | talk]

Sun depleted
According to breakingnews:
MAUNA KEA, HI — In what is being hailed as one of the most stunning and significant miscalculations in human history, astronomers at the W.M. Keck Observatory in Mauna Kea, Hawaii announced today that the sun, which has long been expected to continue burning for another 5 to 6 billion years, is expected to run out of fuel and collapse on Thursday.
[posted by gavin on Friday, April 06, 2001 | link this | talk]

Sex is nice
Now that the once stolen sex.com has been returned to it's original owners, they have decided to turn the into a web portal for porn. Finally, somebody has got the guts to put some pornography up on the internet. (Note: Rocketpack.org has had its own sex portal for years.)
[posted by gavin on Thursday, April 05, 2001 | link this | talk]

Dept. of odd movies
Ahhh.. obscure flash movies.
[posted by gavin on Thursday, April 05, 2001 | link this | talk]

Technolust
I want a Casio watch camera, so I can take photos like this, and this, and this... but not this.
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, April 04, 2001 | link this | talk]

Lock picking
Here's how to pick locks. (must.. fight.. sudden urge to turn evil..)
Random Quote: Somewhere between the locksmith and the burglar is the recreational lock-picker

College girls
Or, if you're in the mood for something a little less evil, check out three college chicks blogging together.
Random Quote: "so back off already, or show me whatchya got!" and the cold god is all like, "Whatever! Maybe I'll just keep you sort of sick for like three weeks and you'll never be totally sick or totally well, and then we'll see who's boss!" and I'm all, "Bring it on fool!"
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, April 04, 2001 | link this | talk]

"All your base" craze now officially over
Acording to this, if you tell anyone that someone has "set us up the bomb", you are no longer cool. (rats).
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, April 04, 2001 | link this | talk]

Time for a slowly gyrating penguin

All my university classes were cancelled today because there was a small blizzard.

So I planned to stay in bed all day, and when people asked me if I was ever going to get out of bed, I said no.

But then a re-run of Knight Rider was on tv, so I pulled my sheets around me and shuffled into the living room and watched it.

It's hard to stay in bed all day.

Space: colourful
Here are some funky photos from the recent northern hemisphere aurora-thon.
[posted by gavin on Tuesday, April 03, 2001 | link this | talk]

Sun Explodes
We're at the peak of an 11 year sun-spot cycle, which means, to put it another way, the sun is going insane. Is this the end of our planet Earth? We don't know, but take a look at these images of the sun and decide for yourself:

• Image 1: Here we see a massive explosion on the sun.


• Image 2: Here we see a fireball from that explosion hurtling toward Earth.


• Image 3: And finally, here we see our planet engulfed in flame.

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